This is my first blog post ever and I’m a bit uncomfortable starting it. But who is ever totally courageous, comfortable and confident about starting something different and new or maybe scary?
Well then, why am I doing it, you may ask? In order to answer that I’m going to go back in time a little.
Try to imagine… this is me 3 years ago… stressed, overwhelmed, anxious, one of the those people-pleasers, a worry-wart full of “what if’s” and “why’s” and “how’s” taking up a lot of energy. I kept busy and worked hard, but I worked myself crazy too. No time for me, much less to enjoy my life I was living. I had things to accomplish, high goals to shoot for, an image to keep up with, friends and family to impress… and not speaking of health problems popping up from all over the place. Emotionally depleted, no real joy or passions. Everything had become an energy drain.
For a time I felt like just bumming out, sleeping or doing totally nothing, being all by myself with my sad self or just watching other’s lives on YouTube. I carried around so much past baggage that still affected me from my childhood and youth. I held on to pains and hurts from difficult situations, not having fully recovered.
I’m an artist but I couldn’t find the joy to even draw. I was blocked and frustrated cause I wasn’t able to put what I wanted on paper. Was this a burn-out? Is this what depression felt like? I don’t know, I never experienced this before. But I knew something was wrong and more clearly than that, something had to change. I knew that I didn’t want this to linger for much longer and I needed a resetting, big time!
I’ll let you in on my little secret of what I decided to do, in my next post.